


The Only Secret I Kept From You Is That I Love You Still

by unnamedelement



Category: Agent Carter (TV)
Genre: Angst, Break Up, F/F, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-25
Updated: 2015-08-25
Packaged: 2018-04-17 04:26:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4652175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unnamedelement/pseuds/unnamedelement
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Years of secrets had taken their toll.  Years of secrets had led to a small bag being packed on a cold night, as two lovers said goodbye, without saying anything at all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Only Secret I Kept From You Is That I Love You Still

You had suffered. There was no denying that you had suffered a great deal in your twenty-something years on earth. You had shed enough tears to fill the Hudson and then some. However, now, as you watched the love of your life pack their things into a small bag, you couldn’t bring yourself to cry.

A large part of you knew; this was what was right. However, when she glanced up at you every few minutes, eyes swimming with sorrow and regret, you didn’t want to think about what was right. You just wanted to hold her. You wanted to just pause time, and remember the days at the automat, when you thought she was a, while suspiciously overzealous for her line of work, worker at the phone company, and you were an aspiring actress with nothing but a head full of big dreams of fame.

Now though, years later, that innocence had long since dissipated. At first, there was a thrill that ran through you, as you learnt Peggy’s secrets. You refused to look beyond the romance of the situation. You had thought to yourself that plays, and movies would be written about your love. The simple girl from Brooklyn, falling for the spy. Two separate worlds combining in a magical way. Of course you knew that the story would be changed. The spy would be some hunk of a man, and not a leggy British woman, but you didn’t think that mattered, as your love for one another wasn’t for anyone else’s consumption anyway.

There had come a time, when the secrets had dwindled. You had each thought that you knew all you could know of one another. In retrospect, it was obvious that with each secret that Peggy spilt, she drew further away from you.

This is why she was packing a bag, as you stood leaning up against the doorframe of the room you had shared, refusing to watch as your years together are packed away, alongside Peggy’s essentials, into a black tactical bag. Too many secrets. Too many times that you would wake up to a cold, empty bed, and a short, blunt note left attached to the vanity mirror.

At first apologies were muttered lovingly upon Peggy’s return, and you would hold her to you with vigour, letting your quiet whispers asking for her to _never leave_ fall on deaf ears. You would both push against one another, hiking up skirts, trailing kisses that grew more desperate with each passing second, and would forget the pain that you each were causing one another. 

Eventually, apologies were traded for a brusque nod, and you gave up on asking Peggy not to leave. You never asked where she had gone either, knowing you would simply get a stern look and a barely audible, “Classified, Angie.”

You knew Peggy wouldn’t be back this time though. You hadn’t said much to one another, but it was enough to know that this was it. At first you had each yelled, but as realization struck each of you, your argument had fallen to soft whispers and eventually a tense silence. Ultimately, Peggy had broken the silence with a choked sob, and had asked the question that lingered in the air between you, “It’s over isn’t it?”

You had refused to look into her eyes, fearing the wealth of emotions you would see reflected back at you, or even worse, finding only a stoic indifference bred from years of practice. An indifference that you had come to resent so powerfully that it broke you a little bit inside. Instead, you nodded. A nod that resembled the nod you received each time Peggy returned from a mission. A nod that was meant to be an apology, but instead was an insult.

You watch as your once lover threw her bag over her shoulder with ease, brushing past you into a hallway that was suddenly too long. A hallway where each step that Peggy took erased another part of your history.

_Step._

Your first kiss, rushed and unexpected, after you proudly announced a callback for an audition for a show you can’t even remember the name of. It was fast, and Peggy had looked on the verge of running away afterwards, but you had each smiled sweetly at one another, and you both knew that it wasn’t an accident.

_Step._

Peggy, shyly pulling a small bouquet of violets from behind her back, asking you out on a date. You had hurried out an excited yes, not worried about details, but overwhelmed with joy at the prospect of going on a date with the woman that you had been mooning over for as long as you had known her.

_Step._

The first time you had fallen into bed together, a tangle of limbs, your moans and cries lasting well into the night. 

_Step. Step. Step._

Peggy’s pace hastened as she approached the door, twisting the knob and stepping out into the cool night air. You had followed lamely behind her, not with any real purpose, but feeling that it was the right thing to do. You watched as with a sigh, the woman whom you had loved without caution, without care, for years, turned towards you.

Peggy whispered, so quietly you struggled to hear her, “I thought you’d ask me not to leave.”

**Author's Note:**

> Firstly, I am not really a writer, however wanted to get out this short one-shot.
> 
> Secondly, constructive feedback would be greatly appreciated.
> 
> Also, feel free to come and find me on tumblr - tobetruetooneself.tumblr.com/


End file.
